Shelander Law Offices

Helping children who are struggling amid divorce

Growing up is all about change. Kids face changes that are -- at least for them -- life altering and stressful all the time. However, parental break-up is inarguably one of the most significant changes kids can face in their journey to adulthood.

It's not unusual for parents to feel helpless at times to ease this transition for their kids. However, you're not helpless. There are things you can do to ease your children through this period.

Allow them to grieve the end of their family as they've known it. However, don't allow that grief to take over their lives. Encourage them to talk, and take time to listen. If they won't talk to you or their co-parent, make sure they have a trusted adult they feel comfortable sharing their feelings with.

Maintain some stability in their lives. Kids are comfortable with routine. Keep as many things the same as possible in their lives.

It's also essential for kids to feel they have some control over their lives at a time when they feel like they have none. Allow them to make some choices -- even if it's something simple like what color to paint the bedroom in their new home or what movie to watch on a Friday night.

Stay positive about the future. If you're feeling frightened and full of dread about what's in store, which is natural, your kids will pick up on that. Help them face the future with optimism -- especially if that future involves a new home, new school and making new friends.

Remind your kids that the break-up isn't their fault. Kids tend to feel like they have responsibility for things they don't. They often feel responsible for their parents' divorce -- particularly if they have been the subject of some of their parents' arguments. That burden of responsibility can prevent kids from adjusting to the divorce. Even if you've told them multiple times, they can never have too much reassurance that you and your co-parent's problems had nothing to do with them.

If you are concerned that your child is struggling during this time and it's impacting their lives, your Beaumont family law attorney can likely recommend a child or family therapist who can help.

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information
Email Us For a Response

Put 40 Years Of Experience To Work For You

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.


Privacy Policy

245 North 4th Street
Beaumont, Texas 77701

Phone: 409-234-1479
Fax: 1-409-833-3935
Map & Directions